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Tera's Story

I've struggled with ana and mia for about 2 and a half years now and had my weight range from 165lbs and down to 115 lbs, where "m curretnly at 120 working to get down to 110. I"m not here for tips or advice, and I believe f someone is anorexc they know how to starve and if someone is bulimic they know how to purge, and anyone who isn't either of these but searches for answers on how to needs to realize that EDs are not a "lose-weight-fast" scheme. I am trying to recover, somewhat, but at the same time just can't learn to love my body like this. I don't know why 'm bothering to explain, you all know how I feel :)
teraleet@hotmail.com

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Charlie's Story

Hi, my name is Charlie and i have had an ed for 3 years, starting in 7th grade. Right now im a 16 and im 5'10 130 my goal is 115. I am bulimic and sometimes ana... depending on how i feel. I think i starting binging because my best friend just is naturally tiny.SHe is a double 0 and im extremely jealous of that. Ever since 7th grade i have been making myself throw up. I am currently on track and field hoping that it will help me lose weight. I also have 3 brothers, all of which are naturally thin and i feel lke the huge sister. Constantlly their friends are over and ijust want to look good infront of them. Over Spring Break im going to be going to Florida with my older brother and 7 of his friends, so i really want to lose weight to look good. Anyone who wants to lose weight with email me. Eflem34668@sbcglobal.net

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Erin's Story

I guess I started my E.D. right around the time my parents got a divorce. I didn't know what to think. I thought it was my fault. Especially since my dad told my sister that if she was never born then they would still be together. I thought that she was perfect and i always looked wanted to be like her. I wondered what my dad would say to me since I was nothing like her. Then I just started to kind of fade in the background and try not to cause any trouble. I started exercising more and eating less to make me feel more lovable and likable. I was so scared of being rejected that I would do anything. Years went by and I started dreaming of becoming a model. They seemed so perfect and beautiful. I was faces with a scout from mulan and he said that I was too short and fat. At the time I was 100 pounds, so that made me restrict and exercise more. My senior year i found laxatives and they became my bestfriend. After a while I got down to 91 pounds and my family sent me away to AZ.! A few years later I found new techniques and moved to FL. I got down to my lowset weight (68 pounds) and was content. I wanted to lose a little more and I would have been happy. But yet again I was sent against my will to the hospital. since then i have gained 56 pounds and I hate it. I want to get back down to where i was or lower. Before this summer is here i am determined to lose atleast 30-40 pounds. I will do it! I can do it! erinwysochansky@
hotmail.com

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Danielle's Story

I'm 19 years old and have had an E.D of some sort since I was 10 years old, so im fast approaching the 10 year mark. I started off binging and starving from day to day until i enevitably put on weight.I started making myselof sick and got ill. I stupidly asked for help and regreted it ever since. i was sent to see doctors and counsellors and got progressivly worse instead of better, i turned to ana and stopped the bulimia. I started going to the gym a lot and got obsessed. I also began taking diet pills. I was overdosing on these everyday for several months and now have rapid heart beats which is shit. Yet i still take them from time to time. As I got thinner people got concerned and i got shoved back into recovery, i figured i could put on the wieght to shut them up and as soon as i move out and get to uni I could get rid of it again. I now feel disgustingly obese, everyone thinks I am better (apart from the cuts that keep appearing on my arms and legs) and I have just started uni..It's time for me to shift the weight. I know its gonna be hard but i dont care. I need this. delly84756@hotmail.com

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Tabitha's Story

My eating disorder started when i couldin cope with the fact how everyone loved my cousin and how wounderful she looked, how skinny she was. I wore a size 14 at that time and it really botherd me cause she wore a size 5. well we then moved back to maryland and i got the ideal to workout alot and eat nothing but salad and crackers over the summer that away when i went back chrismas i would be skinny hopefully. well then school started and my parents started makeing me eat so i started throwing it up that's how determined i was to loose all that fat. Then i started getting sick for no reason and i was eating a lot of diet pills to and the were makeing me sick to my stomic cause i was takeing to many at once. everyone tells me i all ways look like im looseing weight but no i've been bingeing and bingeing so much that it's makeing me feel so ill. i don't know what to do i just wish i could get to the point of where i could be happy with my body and not worry if anyon! e is saying bad things about me. i use to always be smaller then everyone but now im not and it really hurts i don't know how to get rid of all the extra weight. well i where a size 5-6 now and i can fit in small clothing which is starting to make me feel good. but now im starting to think that the clothing companies are makeing clothing bigger. so i want to be smaller. but i have troble hideing the pukeing and i almost pass out when i take diet pills cause i can't control the about i take.i need to find some good ideals that will help me reach my goal of skinniness. twiztidlittlelette@yahoo.com

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Andi's Story

In all honesty, I am not even sure how I developed my ED. It just kind of fell on my lap, you know? I think it developed from a chain of events that I normally woundlt care about, but that time it just jabbed me the wrong way. Before ana, I rode horses. I had been riding for 8 years when I quit, and I dont even know why I did. While I was riding I was in shape and fairly skinny, because of the daily excersize. For a while after that I packed on the pounds, because I wasnt doing anything for excersize. People would comment, I dont know if it was in a joking manner or in a serious one, but not being active made me realize how disgusting I was. I started eating less and trying to work out, but It didnt do much good, i wasnt really serious. Then I discovered Pro-ED websites. Through the websites I learned about a lot of things relating to eating disorders, and I think from the time that I discovered them up till now iI have developed one myself. I have no intentions of stopping anytime soon, and I dont want to be forced into anything either. Thats my guess on how I developed ana, but Like i said earlier I dont really remember 100% of what happened. Thanks! I love your site! echopony@yahoo.com

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Stephanie's Story

I started my ana in 5th grade. I had started puberty, and looking back on it, I think my mom read it as getting fat instead of something normal. She would pull me aside at random points during the week and give me these lectures about losing weight and being too fat and screwing myself over for later in life. Well, I've been brought up in a family where the only reason you're a kid is to turn into the perfect adult asap, so the last one scared the hell outta me. I started skipping lunches and just bringing a water bottle to school and avoiding breakfast whenever possible. I lost about 5-10 lbs in a few weeks. but then, teachers started making me eat lunch again. by middle school i was pigging out at every opportunity and was genuinely huge. By freshman yr of hs i was 150 lbs at 5'4 and wanted to die. I lost/gained back 5 lbs here and there during the year but nothing was working. this summer however, i got back into the swing of ana, grew an inch, and was 118 lbs at 5'5 in august. but then, again, too many people started interfering and made me eat. now i'm 5'5, 135 lbs, and disgusted with it. I go mia whenever I eat too much, but it hasn't helped much, and honesetly I don't like it as much as ana. I'm trying to get back in the swing of ana, but it's really hard! luvablelevy@yahoo.com

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Zara's Story

i have always been aware of the way i look since i was young, but even more so when i started getting fatter and my friends didnt. They were all so beautiful with perfect figures. I used to pray to god to make me really skinny as that way i would be happy. I would jump up in the morning and run to the mirror to see if had changed me into a skinny beautiful person but wen i looked in the mirror all i saw was my fat figure looking back. I was always trying some kind of diet or other but nothing worked for me and it started to get me down. Then i decided "this is stupid, u will be thin ur just lazy just say no to food"! it started off with just very low calorie soups and little things then when i saw that it worked and i lost weight it became more like no soup and just nibbles but i would get so hungry and end up eating something and then after throwing up. After months it just came natural to either eat basically nothing or loads and throw it up. I would be dizzy ! sometimes but then see my stomach in the mirror. I loved waking up in the morning feeling light, empty and dizzy. And i always will. There is no going back now this is how i choose to live my life.
nutta8@hotmail.com

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ElishaLauren's Story

Where to start... Well when I was 14 I was forced to move to a new state, new school, new people. The people where horrible in my school. They ridiculed me because I was different then them and didn't dress trashy like they all did. I was pushed around, called names, etc. I slipped into depression and became an obsessive compulsive eater. I would go through horrible binges where I'd eat everything in site. My weight climbed from 145 to 220! The scale became my enemy. Shortly after I was placed in a private school, and when my parents became ill, I was homeschooled. The depression subsided but the weight remained. I decided to try to get it down with a basic diet and exercise. However, nothing I did worked. No diet even budged the scale and I became depressed again. This time however during the depression, I refused to eat anything. I went from one extream of eating everything to the other of eating almost nothing. I dropped weight durastically which made me happy, and I continued with the restricted diet but added exercise to it. About half way into my Junior year of High school I realized that I was anorexic. I chose to embrase it because with it I was finally happy and enjoyed life. Ana saved me from being that ugly fat person, and gave me a new life. I am still not completely down to my goal weight of 130 but I am getting there. I am currently a freshman in college, and am loving life, as well as Ana. I relapsed from ana a few times when suspitions arose, but am now back with it full force, and better off. Ana helped me loose 65+ pounds, and hopefully another 25. anabutterflygirl@yahoo.com

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Kristina's Story

Sitting here writing this story my arms begin to ach and my fingers tingle, I can feel my fingers going numb again and the joints in my arms scream in pain. Yet no matter how much physical pain I am in I ignore it because I am too busy listening to my head. "Why did you eat lunch?" I scream as I look at the fat hanging on my theighs. My brother will be home soon and he is going to me me eat pizza. This is my life. Sixteen years old caring only for a number. I just got out of inpatient hospitalization around Christmas and I still find myself here looking for people who understand me. I have been this way sence I can remember (about 5 and 1/2 years.) This is all I know and I figure that if I haven't recovered by now, I'm probably ment to serve as a horrible warning instead of a good example..... Perfectdreams97@aol.com

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Phatty's Story

I used to be anorexic when I was in highschool and for a few years after. When I got married, I was still thin (never thin enough) but was convinced that my eating habits weren't healthy. Then about 4 years ago, I had surgery and was put on all sorts of medication and gained (uggh!) 45 pounds in less than 2 months. I moved to Italy with my husband and gained even more weight. You would think that was the breaking point, but it took alot more for me to see the way home... I was moved from my job I loved and lied to and now work a crappy part time job that would make you want to kill yourself. I work on a military base so I am not able to get another job(trust me, I've tried!) ANyways, My father died at the age of 52 this last August. I was so consumme dwith depression, I ate more. A couple months later, my brother called me and told me our mom had put a restraining order on him. I got to the bottom of why when I flew back home in December. My mother started dating a man less than 2 months after my father's death. He is younger than me, unemployed, a smoker, weird, groos looking, and oh, by the way, a convict. He has been in prison twice for sexual assault! She got in a fight with my brother becaues (I believe) she cannot look at him (he looks like dad) adn not feel guilty about being with this discusting scum bag! Then my husband flew back to the states because his mom is terminally ill with cancer. When I got home I started in with my old ways and have lost 20 pounds in less than 2 months. I hope to lose another 50 plus pounds. When I found this website, I knew I had found tha perfect place for me! pariswannabe@hotmail.com

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Roni's Story

my eating disorder started in the fourth grade. i was dieting w/my mom and stuff and she was restricting and i wanted to be just like her. she was an anorexic and told me never to do it, but i never knew i was on the path down Bulimiarexia. i would starve my self b/c of my relgion (mormons) sometimes if i did eat i would throw up but i thought everything was a-ok but i was wrong. i thought i had everything under control but again i was wrong. then the flushers came in and i thought i found a way out. but i realized i was wrong...again. one day i thought to myself..throwing up is repulsive..who would want to be w/me?? no one so i stopped the throwing up and restricted more often. now i am 132lbs and still going...and no one even cares!!! punkprinces66@excite.com

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Star's Story

My story is like many others. I have been sufferning from B.D.D. since I was in middle school. That stands for body dismorphic disorder. I can't control what I see in the mirror and depending on the day I will see many bad things. Things like a bad skin, ugly features, and a weight problem. I have always wanted to be thin along with other things. I will buy tight pants just so I will feel even worse than I already do. I guess that it motivates me. I hate everything about my appearence and I tried almost everything. Then I feel into the world of ana/mia. It started with my new computer. I had no use for using the internet. All it did was become a reference for school homework. Then my room-mate told me about pro-ana sites and how her friend was hooked on them. I guess that triggered me and I became hooked as well. I was so happy to see girls just like me wanting to be thin. I felt like I belonged somewhere. I got tips and thinsperation every day. This was great until the one person who trusted me found my internet history, my fiance. My fiance was going through my history so he could find a web site he was looking for. He came across this site and he was furious. From then on I had a close eye on me. Every day I had to eat for him and I felt uglier and more fat. I tried so hard to purge, but my body refused. I am still unable to do it. Well, a few months went by and my fiance forgot about the incedent. Now I am trying to get back on track. It's so hard and I want so much to not be hungry or be able purge. I come closer everyday to achieving my light as a feather goals, but until then I will feel fat and hopless. pomeranianlove4@yahoo.com

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Mari's Story

All my life I have dreamed of being thin. As a child my uncle would call me terrible names and would make rude comments on my size. The verbal abuse caused me to shrink into a depression were I would greedily eat more food to confort myself. The more I ate the fatter I became and the abuse became worse. I felt like I couldn't control myself, and the more I thought about dieting, the hungrier I would feel. Now I am 15 years old and obese. I am a compulsive eater with no will power to stop when I feel full. armenianeyes@hotmail.com

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Amanda's Story

I am a 22 yr old who lives in West Chester, Pa. I am a BSN(nursing) major with a psychology minor. I was diagnosed with anorexia, binge-purge type about 6 years ago and have been "recently recovered, possible relapse" for about a year or two. My eating disorder got life threatening when i was about 18 yrs old and i almost lost my life. when that happened, i gained all my weight back ( i was down to 91 lbs, and i'm 5'7''). I want my eating disorder back badly. especially over the past 6 mo or so. I recently just viewed your website, and it is one of the best i think ive seen for a pro ana site. i surf them regularly. I guess i'm just looking for a little support. i've tried everything. Amanda2525@msn.com

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Bria's Story

Hey everyone my name is Bria. I'm a fat gurl and I weigh 132lbs and r 5 4' and a half I know thats a lot but my stupid doctor put me on an anti-depressant and I found out it makes u gain wieght so I refuse to take it... before I told that I wiegh like 115-120 and I was still fat but at least not like I am now...HELP!!! I have always wanted people to wish they were me and skinny is one thing people notice and admire and I want them to admire me. I want to be beautiful I want guys to wish they were going out with me... I know it sounds werid but I do...I want them to think I'm hot. If u have any diets or exercises or any cool PRo-ana websites plz e-mail lifezaparty@hotmail.com

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Jen's Story

It all started in 6th grade, (I'm not in 11th) and I watched a movie on lifetime called "A Secret Between Friends" I thought to myself, the girl didn't die of throwing up, so maybe I should try it. I started doing it more and more and after a while my food was coming up naturally. I didn't like that because I wasn't always near a bathroom. When I first started throwing up, I never lost weight but didn't gain it either for like the first year or so. It wasn't a big deal for me at the time. As the months progressed, I started to throw up more and become obsessed. I started to lose weight, but not a lot. My mom found out in 7th grade because she heard me and I wasn't careful about it. I got sent to my doctor and he just did some blood tests and sent me home. After that everyone forgot about it. I still did it, but it was different because I found out about pro-ana sites and I started to fast. Fasting was easier to get away with, so I did that and I still do. I am not at all skinny. I am 5 foot 6 and 120 pounds. It changes a lot, but right now I am 120 pounds. I love pro-ana sites... they help me and I can relate to all the people that go to them. No one else really understands, so coming here is like my secret hiding place. imparanoid32@yahoo.com