Member Stories
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Alannah|
China| Chrissie|
Brittani| Briana|
Sandie| Lindsey|
Miranda| Kim|
Heather| Crystal|
Amy| Debbie|
Laurie|
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BabyFat's Story
My name is alannah. I live in Tennessee. I was born and raised here in a
small town. by the age of 6, I was very unhappy with myself and my body
and didn't like myself at all. by the age of 8, I despised myself and began
to diet. Around age 11, I developed anorexia. However, to me, it wasn't
anorexia...it was life. I had never heard of eating disorders and didn't
know that I had one. That was just my way to cope with life. See, I have
an older brother who is extremely smart and funny and everyone loves him.
I could never be like him. I also have an older sister who is a perfect
angel according to my parents. They didn't want me to be like her.... they
wanted me to be her. They signed me up for everything she did.... piano
lessons, gymnastics, dance, etc. she was thin, so I was expected to be.
She was perfect, so I had to be. I was never good enough for them though.
I always tried so hard, but I could never measure up. As if that wasn't
enough, I was sexually abused by my gymnastics coach at age 8, my soccer
coach from ages 11-14, and two close friends for all of my 14th year. My
parents didn't believe me when I finally told them when I was 14. They said
I wanted attention and I gave myself the bruises. They said maybe if I could
find something to be good at, I wouldn't spend my time looking for sympathy.
But then they told me it was a waste of time because I had no talent and
I was good for nothing. I was an accident. My parents were done having kids,
but then I came along anyway. Surprise. Not such a good one. They never
forget to remind me that I was and always will be an accident. During my
five years of anorexia, my lowest weight has been 74. Right now, I’m unfortunately
at 105 because of my forceful nutritionist and doctors and therapists, but
I will once again be the beautiful creature that I can create inside of
me. I’ve been having more bulimic tendencies in the past year. I rarely
binge and purge. I always purge while restricting. When I binge, I despise
myself so greatly and feel so disgusted with myself, so I just stay away
from that. Growing up, food was a reward, and rewards were rare. Our rooms
had to be spotless to get dinner. Our homework had to be done correctly
to get dinner. If we missed one problem, we were sent to bed with nothing
to eat. At school, we were often not given lunch money because we didn't
behave well at home. Breakfast was very rare. We had it on birthdays and
holidays. I have been diagnosed with depression, anorexia, bulimia, AD(avoidant
disorder), OD (overanxious disorder), GAD (general anxiety disorder), PD
(panic disorder), PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), SAD (social anxiety
disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and agoraphobia. Also, I
am suicidal, I self-injure (cutting, burning, etc), and I have severe and
frequent panic attacks. Now you know a lot about me. There’s tons more,
but that could take decades to explain, and I’m sure I’ve already scared
you off anyway. Alannah_17@hotmail.com
China's Story
Hi my name is China and I am 15 years old. I have been a struggling anorexic
for 2 years and finally committed 2 months ago. I have a friend who is bulimic
and has been for 2 years. I would like for anyone to send me any tips, excuses,
diets, or recipes. I would be grateful I am a self-injurer and have been
for 3 years. My life is crap. My friends and I have little cutting parties.
polaricechick2006@
yahoo.com
Chrissie's Story
I have always been obsessed with dieting, and losing weight. Ever since
I was 8 years old. At that time, I'd always tell myself that I would be
going on this diet, or that diet, and I would always set up a workout program.
I remember putting on paper things like "Breakfast: one piece of corn."
etc. I have always seen myself as fat, and I can't help it. When I was 14,
I read a book called "Insatiable," which triggered me to become anorexic.
I wrote in my diary that night, that I sincerely wanted to stop eating and
lose weight. I had a big struggle for the first few months, and then I got
put back on Adderal, which I had been prescribed to for 3 years at that
time. Adderall made it a lot easier. At one point, I hadn't eaten for a
month and dropped to 85lbs, at 5'5". After that fast, I was admitted to
the hospital for anorexia nervosa and attempted suicide. They had me in
recovery, with tubes down my throat, and double portion meals afterwards.
I had to eat to get out and I wanted to get out bad. Mental hospitals are
terrible. I ended up gaining back a lot of weight and I am now struggling
to lose it.
LethallyBlonde15@aol.com
Brittani's Story
Hello my name is Brittani Heisel. I am 18 years old, 5’1, 106lbs, and I
live in Post Falls, Idaho. I am currently attending North Idaho College
and hope to someday become a teacher. I have been anorexic for about three
years now, and have been hospitalized two times. My last hospital stay was
in May of this year, and I was at my lowest weight of 72lbs. I would like
to become a member of Anorexics.net because I believe that it helps me to
have more discipline if I feel like I am a part of something. Well not just
being a part of something, being involved with others who think along the
same lines that I do. I hope you will consider letting me become a part
of your organization.
Brittani4168@yahoo.com
Briana's Story
I have been both bulimic and anorexic but have never succeeded in what I
had tried to do. I have loss some pounds form it but gain it back and more.
I had tried all the diets and restricting myself from food but it doesn't
seem to work the way I want it to. I have visited many pro web sites some
are great like this one others trashy.
I have tried getting buddies with it but some say are there to help but
they aren't they're just saying stuff. My family accuses me of my weight
I want it gone!
lil_angel200393@yahoo.com
Sandi's Story
Started about 7th grade. I was loosing weight and enjoyed their comments.
"Have you loss weight”? - Miss that time, miss that sentence. In 8th grade
my school called my parents up.. And after all the doctor-visits I finally
settled down.. Now it’s about 4-5 years later.. I was becoming a fatty -
I wanted to loose weight.. And after I did loose some pounds I could't stop
- I WOULDN'T stop.. Why should anyone stop something that makes them more
beautiful?
1184@sol.dk
Lindsey's Story
I used to be a normal teenage girl but I went on a diet to lose weight and
it turned into anorexia. I was anorexic for 3 years in high school until
I was hospitalized. After I got out of the hospital I was under strict watch.
I had to go in for weight checks once a week. I was forced to gain weight.
I dance and I wasn’t allowed to dance I weighed a certain amount of weight.
I couldn’t exercise at all. I was forced to gain weight or else I couldn’t
do the things that I love to do. Now that I am on my own I would like to
loose some of the weight I have gained, but I feel like I forgot how too.
So I am hoping that with everyone’s support I can loose some weight because
I feel gross.
hollywoodchick84@yahoo.com
Miranda's Story
Growing up I was always the chubby girl. I had my share of boyfriends but
the "popular" guys didn’t even know I existed. I became anorexic about 5
years ago. I was at doing really good...constantly losing. Then I met this
asshole of a guy (I didn’t know he was an asshole at the time) and I got
pregnant with my son Alex. I wasn’t going to starve him so I ate what every
pregnant girl eats and my weight skyrocketed. After I gave birth I was at
165. Now I am slowly working my way back down to my goal weight of 102.
x_liquid_cocaine@yahoo.com
Kim's Story
I am 19 years old, and have been dealing with my weight for years. All through
high school I was bulimic and anorexic, and stopped for the sake of my family.
I have hyperthyroid, so my metabolism is all messed up, so I gain weight,
and lose weight weekly, and struggle with my weight on a constant basis.
I would like to lose the weight, and keep it off, and I am willing to do
what I can. I just need support and help, because my family and friends
don't think that I need to lose any weight, but I weigh 145 on a 5 ft 3
inch. Frame.
Shwjmpr007@aol.com
Heather's Story
I started my Ed about a year ago. I feel so good when I loose weight. Good
luck to everyone out there.. Anorexia is the best thing that has happened
to me. I hate it sometimes and I wonder what it would be like without it
but I love losing weight. My stats are 5'4 102 lbs. I know I know imp such
a fatty...I like the weight I am at right now. But I still want to loose
some more weight. not a lot of people know about my Ed. My mom is getting
worried I think she is catching on. I hope not. Well everyone good luck..ehhe
coolgirl8945@aol.com
Crystal's Story
I'm 17 years old, 5'1 and about 137lbs. I've, all my life, had CED (Compulsive
Eating Disorder), but recently I turned Ana/Mia. I choose Ana over Mia more
because I can't seem to get the puking down pact yet lol. I really don't
like being my weight, simply because to be famous, you can't be big. I know
there are some actresses who are fat, but I don't wanna be in that category.
Plus, who wants to see a fat pig on the cover of Playboy or Rolling Stone.
I hope that being Ana/Mia will let me show all those other actresses who
is the best looking and better at acting lol. I really hope that I am gonna
lose the pounds. I wanna be about 110lbs. I figure I can work from there
on toning and shaping my body.
Childoflight04@aol.com
Amy's Story
I'm Amy :] I have had an eating disorder for about 3 years now. I have accepted
it, and am not interested in recovering, especially anytime soon. I have
always thought that I was fat. ever since I was around 8..I thought my stomach
stuck out too much. I went from 115 when I was 14 to 85 in about 7 months.
I had to be home schooled because of how much this all interfered with school
(friends, etc) I started to binge and couldn't control myself...all the
way up to 135 pounds (I am 5'2) and was MISERABLE. I refused to even leave
my house...literally would not even go outside to get the mail. A year after
being a cow, I got myself under control again. I went from 135 to 115 in
2 months. Then eventually got to 110, where I was at for almost a year,
until now. I am currently at 102, short-term goal weight is 93, long term,
who knows. BMWGrrlie@aol.com
Debbie's Story
Well let’s see, I guess I’ll start with my ways. Of course I’m a perfectionist,
over compulsive and obsessive oh yeah and a little thing called anorexia.
I've been Ana for about 4 years going on 5. Before that as a chile I had
COE as far as I can remember, I would get a tub of ice cream and finish
it off and have a pizza or steak. Around 6th grade I started to diet, I
would skip a meal and exercise for 3 hours. It really became hardcore the
summer before freshmen year. I passed out in a grocery store, I blacked
out almost everyday and I lose about 15 pounds in 3 weeks. When I entered
high school I entered an honors student with a long love affair with piano
(I’ve been playing since I was three). I had to stop for a while cause my
parents were catching on. I would put masking tape around my tummy to hold
it in, I would also eat all my moms diet pills. During sophomore year I
got back into the swing of things and went from 124 to 108 and about 2 months.
My friend Sean found out and I was the happiest I have ever been. Then I
started junior year (now) and my grandma got sick and had a heart attack
and almost died, so I freaked out and felt like crap for doing all this
I gained a few pounds but now I’m trying to get back on track. I also am
an only child, so I’m very attached to my parents. oh yeah only Ana never
mia but I did chew and spit for a long time till my parents found out...oops
littledebbieana@yahoo.com
Laurie's Story
I remember most of my childhood being FAT. Yes, the dreaded "F" word that
teachers let you say in school. Most of my life I was tormented by other
kids. I think I've heard all of the fat jokes. It got to the point that
I was scared to go to school. The kids were really mean. They actually HATED
me because I was fat. I even had a counselor at my after-school YMCA program
make an example of me. She told some other kids that she used to be as big
as me. It really hurt me too. Someone who was there to watch over me and
make sure I was okay wanted to hurt me in front of other children. I hated
my weight. I hated shopping for clothes too. Every time I went clothes shopping
my size would get bigger. I finally got to a size 14 at age 11. I was 155
pounds and it was my last year in elementary school. I really don't know
what happened from there. Some how I got the strength to lose the weight.
I did sit-ups and ate healthier. I went from a size 14 to a size 11 in one
summer. I was so proud of myself. It was my first year in Junior High School.
I kept doing sit-ups and eating what I thought was healthy. I remember one
day my mom and I went shopping again and I was a size 9. That was only a
few months after school started. That only made me happier. By the time
Christmas rolled around my parents made me stop my sit-ups since they thought
"I had lost enough weight." That upset me more than anything. I remember
locking myself in my bathroom and doing my sit-ups in there. I realized
it was useless to sneak around so I stopped the exercise. After that, I
ate less. Only Fat-Free and extremely Low-Fat foods. I remember at one time
I actually cried because I was so hungry. Eventually, my hunger went away.
I didn't have a "taste" for food anymore. I got used to not eating. By the
time Christmas was over I was a size 5. My parents always made me weigh
myself when we went to the stores. I hated going shopping because it was
like a routine checkup in which if I lost weight I'd get in trouble. My
parents wanted me to go to a therapist but I wouldn't. I didn't want help.
I wanted to be thin. By the end of the school year I was a size 3. Then
after a week of a 4-H summer camp that I wanted to go on I came back as
a size 0. I remember eventually dropping to a size 00. I still can't believe
they carried that small of a size in the junior department. At the beginning
of my 7th grade year I was called in to the nurses office. Someone in my
school asked the nurse to weigh me. I still don't know who. She asked me
how I was losing weight. I told her I was eating healthy and exercising.
She said I was 97 pounds. That was the last time I weighed myself until
years later [which I'll talk about soon]. After that I still continued my
normal [at least for me] eating habits. My mom and dad still pressed me
for counseling so I finally did. It didn't help. I was relieved that we
got a bad therapist. She told my parents I wasn't anorexic. She said, however,
that I may have OCD [obsessive compulsive disorder], and went on to blame
my parents for my problems and also said that she really couldn't do anything
else for me because besides my OCD everything was fine [she couldn't prescribe
medicine for some reason]. So we left her. I was happy to be done with that
and kept losing weight. I didn't think I'd have to go to another one but
finally did. We went to a whole new place not affiliated with my previous
therapist. She was really nice. We talked and she tried to help. She even
tried to get me to slowly start eating. I still wouldn't. Not even a salad!
I also had to meet with a psychiatrist. She was the only one who could prescribe
me with medicine and diagnose me with whatever I had. She told my parents
I was definitely anorexic and that the anorexia was brought on by my OCD.
I remember hating my doctor because of that. I couldn't believe she was
trying to say I was anorexic. I didn't think I was. She made me take tests
at a hospital to check how I had been affected [I'm guessing] by my anorexia.
I guess she wanted to prove to me something was wrong since I was too stubborn
to realize it myself. After we got the test results I found out this: my
heart beat was too slow, I had developed hypothermia from not enough fat
in my body [which explained to me why I needed a sweater even in the midst
of summer], and my liver had deformities in it from mal-nutrition. That's
when it hit me that I could probably be dead in a few months if I kept going
on. It's a miracle that I wanted to get better. I never did before. I got
to really like my psychiatrist after a while because I knew she wasn't against
me...she was for me...she wanted me to get better. And I kept seeing my
therapist too... I loved seeing her...she helped a lot. I was prescribed
many pills before I found a combination that would work for me and was on
different combos of pills for years. I even fully recovered. However, this
year has started something. I am now 16 [17 in a couple of months] and a
junior in high school. This past summer I weighed myself after my boyfriend
asked me to [he wanted me to get over my fear of scales I guess] and something
snapped in me. I've been dieting again. I eat one low fat meal a day and
only fat-free snacks besides that. I do sit-ups too again. I've lost a lot
of weight in the last 2 months. My parents are worried it's going to happen
again. I even make myself throw up if I eat too much [I've only done it
a few times though]. I just did it tonight. I felt like I had too much fat
in my Christmas dinner. And it bothers me that I didn't get to throw it
all up [I waited until I could be alone to do it]. And I won't take my pills
anymore. I want to lose weight again. The scary part is that when I think
about losing more weight and being maybe a size 3 again....it doesn't scare
me. I'm finding that things are happening now like they did when I was 11-13.
I'm confused and alone...but I'm too stubborn and strong-willed to stop.
I want to keep losing weight but I don't want to die. I can't stop again...I'm
lost again...
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